🕒 Reading Time: 12–14 minutes
Table of Contents
Self-Esteem: Why It’s Essential
Lack of Self-Esteem in Children with ADHD
What Parents Can Do to Help: Practical Strategies
Expert Spotlight: Dr. Ellen Littman
Be Mindful: Reflection Prompts for Parents
Conclusion: Every Child Deserves to Believe They Are Enough
Introduction
People typically associate ADHD with three characteristics: impulsivity, hyperactivity, and inattention behaviors. However, an essential matter that receives little attention in public discourse is self-esteem.
The impact of educational practices on ADHD children's emotional health and their self-esteem requires immediate discussion but has not received enough attention.
Learning to develop strong internal ability perceptions in students with ADHD will become their bridge toward academic achievement, emotional well-being, and emotional stability.
This guide explores the significance of developing self-esteem and self-efficacy, how ADHD affects these traits, practical steps for parents, and relevant scientific research available for StarKid empowerment.
Self-Esteem: Why It’s Essential
Most discussions about ADHD exclusively focus on its noticeable behavioral signs, which mainly include impulsiveness, hyperactivity, and inattention.
Underlying every noticeable ADHD behavior exists an equally vital but frequently ignored driving force: self-esteem.
A child's self-esteem determines their world experience, their relationships with others, and their capability to overcome difficulties.
The general definition of self-esteem explains the feeling of personal value and worth people have in their lives. But self-efficacy, a specific concept from psychologist Albert Bandura (1977), represents a person's belief in their ability to perform tasks and achieve goals. These concepts maintain distinct boundaries yet strongly affect each other.
Belief in task completion abilities (self-efficacy) tends to create higher personal self-esteem in children and vice versa.
Young children face difficulties distinguishing these constructs since their inner self-concept is still developing. At early ages, children understand their identity based primarily on how others respond to them—through encouragement and criticism received from parents, teachers, and peers.
This discussion will combine the terms "self-esteem" and "self-efficacy" to explore their roles in developing a confident and resilient foundation.
Research reveals that children with ADHD develop lower self-esteem than their neurotypical peers because of their ADHD characteristics.
Standardized self-respect scores show significant differences between children and adolescents with ADHD, according to Mazzone and colleagues (2013).
The decreased self-worth does not result from intelligence deficits, creativity limitations, or lack of potential, but from repeated academic, behavioral, and social struggles that chip away at a child's sense of capability.
Why Does This Happen?
Children with ADHD struggle with three key abilities in their early educational settings because the school environment subconsciously focuses on those specific weaknesses.
Children face multiple disciplinary actions, receive poor grades, and accumulate academic corrections that reinforce the belief they’re falling behind. These experiences tend to accumulate unless interrupted by intervention, leading to lasting negative self-perception that can persist into adulthood.
Studies confirm that low self-esteem in childhood is not a minor issue—it has long-term consequences.
Children with low self-esteem are more likely to develop internalizing disorders such as depression and anxiety (Orth & Robins, 2013).
They may avoid challenging goals, withdraw from opportunities, and struggle to form trusting relationships.
Early development of strong self-worth functions as a long-term protective shield against ADHD-related setbacks.
It builds the persistence, emotional regulation, and resilience needed for children to thrive in spite of their symptoms.
Addressing ADHD symptoms requires equal focus on boosting self-esteem.
Improved school performance and behavioral support are important—but so is helping children understand that they are capable, valuable, and strong.
Lack of Self-Esteem in Children with ADHD
Children with ADHD experience silent struggles they rarely express.
The combination of academic difficulties, household tension, and social rejection often leads to a cycle of discouragement and internalized self-doubt.
Academic Struggles
Their limited attention span, forgetfulness, and impulsivity negatively affect schoolwork.
Even when they try hard, they receive negative feedback, poor grades, and frequent corrections—all of which diminish confidence over time.
Social Challenges
Impulsivity and emotional dysregulation often lead to peer rejection.
Children who struggle to read social cues are mocked or left out, and friendships dissolve.
Research shows that early peer rejection correlates with low self-esteem and even depression in adulthood (Humphreys et al., 2013).
Higher Rates of Disciplinary Action
Children with ADHD are three times more likely to be suspended or expelled from school (CDC, 2020).
Frequent punishment without emotional support teaches children that they are bad rather than in need of support.
Family Stress
Conflicts related to homework, anger outbursts, and defiance add stress at home.
Even without verbal confirmation, children often internalize the belief that they disappoint their parents.
Subtype Differences
According to Molavi et al. (2020), children with predominantly hyperactive ADHD subtypes often report higher self-esteem.
Why? These children experience fewer executive functioning challenges, making them more likely to encounter success and feel confident.
What Parents Can Do to Help: Practical Strategies
No parent wants to see their child suffer from self-doubt.
You have many opportunities to nurture their self-worth during critical growth phases.
Recognizing Low Self-Efficacy
Young children often express their struggles through behavior, not words. Look for signs like:
- Saying, “I can’t do this” or “This is too hard”
- Delaying tasks or avoiding activities
- Showing emotional outbursts when facing difficulty
- Avoiding similar challenges in the future
When you observe these signs, pause and connect:
✅ Stay calm and validate their feelings:
“It’s okay to feel unsure. Everyone does sometimes.”
✅ Highlight past strengths:
“Remember when you finished that tough puzzle last week? You didn’t give up.”
✅ Praise effort over results:
Be specific: “You stayed focused, even though it was hard.”
✅ Create a ‘Strengths Chart’:
List accomplishments, big or small, on a poster. Add to it regularly to help children visualize their growth.
✅ Introduce a ‘Success Journal’:
End each day by reflecting on one thing they did well, through writing or visualization.
This daily practice increases self-awareness and helps track progress.
✅ Gently expose them to challenges:
If your child resists reading, start with one sentence. Gradually increase the difficulty.
Small wins build momentum and change their mindset.
Want an extra tool to support daily growth and emotional balance? Try our Mindfulness Episodes for Kids — short, calming audio stories designed to nurture focus, confidence, and resilience.
Your consistent presence, patient tone, and emotional regulation will teach them that growth comes from effort—and that challenges are opportunities.
Expert Spotlight: Dr. Ellen Littman
Clinical psychologist Dr. Ellen Littman is a recognized authority on how ADHD affects self-esteem, especially in girls.
As co-author of Understanding Girls with ADHD, she emphasizes how misunderstandings and invalidation can erode a child’s self-concept over time.
Dr. Littman encourages strength-based parenting, which combines emotional awareness with helping children recognize their unique abilities.
Learn more about her work:
https://www.drellenlittman.com/
Be Mindful: Reflection Prompts for Parents
Before moving on, take a mindful pause:
Ask yourself:
- Am I noticing the strengths in my child as much as the struggles?
- How do I respond when my child says, “I can’t”?
- How often do I praise effort, not just results?
Mindful parenting means responding intentionally—not reacting emotionally.
Conclusion: Every Child Deserves to Believe They Are Enough
Children with ADHD need self-esteem not as an extra skill, but as a basic foundation.
Without it, their struggles feel heavier, and their victories feel empty.
With it, they can rise after every fall.
They’ll know their efforts matter. They’ll believe they are capable and loved, not in spite of ADHD, but alongside it.
The greatest gift you can offer your StarKid is showing them their value, celebrating their efforts, and building a world where their voice matters.
You and your child already have everything you need to succeed together.
References
Bandura, A. (1977). Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change. Psychological Review, 84(2), 191–215. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.84.2.191
Mazzone, L., Postorino, V., Reale, L., et al. (2013). Self-esteem evaluation in children and adolescents suffering from ADHD. Clinical Practice and Epidemiology in Mental Health, 9, 96-102. https://doi.org/10.2174/1745017901309010096
Humphreys, K. L., et al. (2013). Peer rejection predicts self-esteem and depression among adolescents with ADHD. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 41(7), 1027–1040.
Molavi, P., et al. (2020). ADHD subtype-specific cognitive correlates and association with self-esteem: A quantitative difference. BMC Psychiatry, 20, 502. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-020-02887-4
Yuen, H. K., et al. (2021). Contribution of a virtual magic camp to enhancing self-esteem in children with ADHD: A pilot study. Health Psychology Research, 9(1), 1–6.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). (2020). ADHD data and statistics. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/data.html
Bandura, A. (1977). Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change. Psychological Review, 84(2), 191–215. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.84.2.191
Mazzone, L., Postorino, V., Reale, L., Guarnera, M., Mannino, V., Armando, M., Fatta, L., De Peppo, L., & Vicari, S. (2013). Self-esteem evaluation in children and adolescents suffering from ADHD. Clinical Practice and Epidemiology in Mental Health, 9, 96-102. https://doi.org/10.2174/1745017901309010096
Orth, U., & Robins, R. W. (2013). Understanding the link between low self-esteem and depression. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 22(6), 455–460. https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721413492763
