Getting “Stuck” and Frustrated: Supporting Kids with ADHD Through Homework Challenges

Getting “Stuck” and Frustrated: Supporting Kids with ADHD Through Homework Challenges

🕒 Reading Time: 11–13 minutes


Table of Contents

Introduction

The Nature of ADHD and Homework Challenges

Impact on the Family

The School View

Expert Perspective: Dr. Sharon Saline

Practical Tips for Parents

The Importance of Mindfulness

Conclusion

References


Introduction

Children who have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) encounter homework as an impossible challenge instead of a regular afternoon task. The StarKids who struggle with ADHD need approximately twenty to forty, or even up to one hundred minutes to complete assignments that typical children finish in ten minutes.
Children with ADHD frequently enter imaginative worlds where they imagine battling dragons, becoming basketball stars, or reliving princess stories in magical kingdoms. The habit of daydreaming often plagues these children because they struggle endlessly to stay focused, which leads them to experience emotional frustration.


The Nature of ADHD and Homework Challenges

The mental management abilities known as executive functioning are affected by ADHD (Barkley, 2014). Childhood ADHD creates multiple academic challenges because such difficulties affect a student's learning process.
The task initiation process becomes extremely difficult, especially during moments that appear complex:

- Difficulty sitting still for extended periods

- Losing track of multi-step instructions

- A brain that rapidly shifts between internal thoughts and external stimuli

The sense of overwhelming stress tends to increase whenever students face assignments that seem extended or complex. Students who get caught up on one question without noticeable progress tend to develop negative emotions—starting with anxiety, then irritability, and ending in sadness.
Children experience damage to self-esteem because they see their classmates completing homework without issue while they struggle to finish theirs. Students begin to develop harmful thoughts that they are intellectually inadequate or academically incompetent. Scientific research demonstrates that children with ADHD face higher chances of experiencing low self-esteem and academic self-concept compared to other children (Edbom et al., 2006).


Impact on the Family

The entire family structure feels the weight-bearing effects when children experience homework problems. After work, parents are often exhausted from performing supervision duties while trying to motivate, explain, and manage potential arguments.
Back-to-back conflicts form chronic emotional exhaustion that breaks family bonds and intensifies conflicts over time.

Parenting children with ADHD produces stronger parental stress, alongside depression and feelings of incompetence, than parenting neurotypical children (Theule et al., 2013). When your child fights unsuccessfully to complete basic tasks that seem straightforward to others, you may experience deep feelings of sadness, helplessness, despair, and possible self-blame—even if you intellectually understand ADHD is neurodevelopmental.

Other family ties may also show signs of strain. Siblings may feel neglected due to the attention focused on the child with ADHD. These perceptions of unfairness can occur even when parents are simply doing their best to cope.
Marital relationships may deteriorate as partners use different coping methods, resulting in conflict when one partner feels unsupported or misunderstood.

Daily evening routines like homework, meals, and bedtime may turn into ongoing debates. Repeated arguments over homework resistance create a negative home atmosphere where children begin to associate family time with criticism and pressure rather than comfort.

Parents also face emotional and practical trade-offs. Some adjust their work schedules or even change jobs to accommodate their child's needs. Families often invest significant financial and personal resources into therapy, tutoring, and academic support.

Still, these challenges can foster family resilience. According to Johnston and Mash (2001), families of children with ADHD often show growth in patience, empathy, problem-solving, and emotional sensitivity. Facing challenges as a team can deepen emotional connections.

Parents benefit from seeking support — whether through counseling, ADHD support groups, or mindfulness — to regain emotional strength.
One of the kindest things parents can do is to embrace both the struggles and the beauty of the journey through self-compassionate practices.


The School View

Traditional beliefs view homework as essential for reinforcing academic learning. But for neurodivergent children, homework often becomes an overwhelming task.
ADHD students can often focus earlier in the school day, but their mental energy fades as the day progresses (Pliszka, 2007).

Recent educational developments show progress. Schools now offer accommodations through Section 504 Plans and Individualized Education Programs (IEPs), which may include:

- Time extensions

- Reduced homework volume

- Alternative assessment methods

ADHD Dude (Ryan Wexelblatt, LCSW), explains how evaluating comprehension over quantity can support ADHD learners. This honors how students may grasp material well but struggle to produce lengthy outputs.


Expert Perspective: Dr. Sharon Saline

Dr. Sharon Saline, a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in ADHD, researched the unique challenges these children face with homework.
In her book What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew (Saline, 2018), she discusses collaboration over control.

She recommends:

- Breaking assignments into manageable portions

- Helping students feel ownership over their learning

- Using empathy to build resilience and emotional strength

In her 2018 TEDx Talk, she reminds parents that ADHD children don’t need perfect performances — they need consistent encouragement on a path of progress.
Dr. Saline’s expertise in public lectures, webinars, and articles has made her a leading voice in ADHD education and emotional development.


Practical Tips for Parents

Here are 10 supportive strategies for parents of StarKids:

  1. Just Start
    Sit beside your child and start reading the assignment aloud. Getting started is often the hardest part.

  2. Create a Distraction-Free Study Zone
    Design a quiet, cozy, personalized space to reduce resistance to starting homework.

  3. Break It Down
    Divide assignments into bite-sized tasks to prevent overwhelm.

  4. Use Movement
    Let your child move, stand, or use fidget tools during breaks. Physical activity improves attention and regulation (Medina, 2014).

  5. Reward Progress
    Use short-term incentives like screen time, snacks, or fun activities.

  6. Set Clear Goals
    Be specific: “Finish questions 1–5 in 20 minutes” is better than “Do your homework.”

  7. Understand When to Move On
    If your child is stuck, encourage skipping the question and returning later.

  8. Build in Breaks
    Try the Pomodoro technique: 25 minutes of work, 5-minute break—adjust to your child’s focus span.

  9. Gamify the Experience
    Turn homework into a game with points, levels, or storytelling (Deterding et al., 2011).

  10. Practice Patience and Compassion
    Your calm and empathy are powerful tools when frustration rises.


The Importance of Mindfulness

Homework-related frustration is emotionally intense—for both children and parents.
Mindfulness can help regulate these emotions, encouraging patience, empathy, and calm responses.

A basic practice:

- Sit or lie down comfortably

- Take 3 slow, deep breaths

- Notice thoughts and feelings without judgment

- Repeat affirmations such as:

“It’s okay to feel frustrated.”

“I am doing my best.”

“My child is doing their best.”

According to Zylowska et al. (2008), mindfulness improves emotional regulation and reduces stress in both children and adults.

Want help guiding this process at home? Try our Mindfulness Episodes for Kids and Parents short, soothing stories to support focus, calm, and connection through daily challenges.


Conclusion

Children with ADHD face significant obstacles when it comes to homework. These challenges affect not only academic performance, but also their confidence, emotional well-being, and family relationships.

Though school systems are making progress with accommodations, much of the support still takes place at home.
Distraction-free environments, playful strategies, emotional coaching, and mindfulness can make a significant difference.

Remember: progress matters more than perfection.
Celebrate small wins, support emotional growth, and give yourself the same compassion you offer your child.


References

Barkley, R. A. (2014). Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: A Handbook for Diagnosis and Treatment (4th ed.). New York: Guilford Press.

Deterding, S., Dixon, D., Khaled, R., & Nacke, L. (2011). From Game Design Elements to Gamefulness: Defining "Gamification". Proceedings of the 15th International Academic MindTrek Conference: Envisioning Future Media Environments.

Edbom, T., Lichtenstein, P., Granlund, M., & Larsson, J. O. (2006). Long-term relationships between symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and self-esteem in a prospective longitudinal study of twins. Acta Paediatrica, 95(6), 650–657.

Medina, J. (2014). Brain Rules: 12 Principles for Surviving and Thriving at Work, Home, and School (Updated and Expanded). Pear Press.

Moffitt, T. E., Arseneault, L., Belsky, D., et al. (2011). A gradient of childhood self-control predicts health, wealth, and public safety. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 108(7), 2693–2698. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1010076108

Pliszka, S. R. (2007). Pharmacologic Treatment of Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder: Efficacy, Safety and Mechanisms of Action. Neuropsychology Review, 17(1), 61–72.

Saline, S. (2018). What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew: Working Together to Empower Kids for Success in School and Life. TarcherPerigee.

TEDx Talks (2018). What your ADHD child wishes you knew | Dr. Sharon Saline | TEDxWilmington. [YouTube video]. Retrieved from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfv8gYtEiiE

Zylowska, L., Ackerman, D. L., Yang, M. H., et al. (2008). Mindfulness Meditation Training in Adults and Adolescents with ADHD: A Feasibility Study. Journal of Attention Disorders, 11(6), 737–746. https://doi.org/10.1177/1087054707308502

Theule, J., Wiener, J., Tannock, R., & Jenkins, J. M. (2013). Parenting stress in families of children with ADHD: A meta-analysis. Journal of Emotional and Behavioral Disorders, 21(1), 3-17. https://doi.org/10.1177/1063426610387433

Johnston, C., & Mash, E. J. (2001). Families of children with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: Review and recommendations for future research. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 4(3), 183–207. https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1017592030434

Back to blog

Welcome to StarKid Universe

Leave us a message on one of our social media pages!

Youtube